Is it My Imagination?

If you are reading this then “you just need to know”, right? Your wondering if the changes you’ve noticed are the result of another person in your mates life. “Is it your imagination?” Has it only been “mere coincidences” the events that happened? Unless your typically a suspicious person, unfortunately there is probably something going on and for your own peace of mind you need to know.

Review our list of “Signs of a Cheating Mate” and if this sound familiar you need to do something.

There are many reasons why people cheat; loneliness, boredom, loss of love, hurt, etc. It really doesn’t matter why “cheating is cheating” and it destroys marriages, relationships and families. But to better understand whats going on, lets explore some situations.

In today’s world of “social media” cheating and divorce is running rampant. People who have been in stable marriages for years are finding themselves talking to old school friends, girl & boy friends and meeting new people. It’s exciting for people who have been secluded in their marriage for years to all of a sudden be out there and open to new experiences and people. Some people simply can’t handle it. Emails start and then text messages. People typically say things in emails and text messages that they normally wouldn’t say face to face. So innocent emails easily turns into an illicit affair whether it be emotional or physical. People who wouldn’t normally stray are doing just that.

It’s sad, but there are people out there who have no respect for marriage or they want to be married therefore an already married man or women is very attractive to them. They want what you have so they will “woo” and “entice” a married person saying things that will pull at the heart-strings. The problem with this scenario is that the new relationship has started from something dirty and a lack of trust. The saying “if he cheats once he will cheat again” is unfortunately true. It’s easier to cheat a second or third time. Whether a new relationship begins or the marriage continues neither will be successful because the trust is gone. Once the trust and love of marriage has been betrayed it can never truly be repaired. You can go to counseling to work through your issues and learn to live with it, but in the back of your head it will always be there.

Some people just can’t be in a monogamist relationship. No matter what they say or even how they feel they have to be with different people. These people have numerous affairs even after getting caught.

And of course there is always the proverbial co-worker and ex.

So what’s your next step? You have a couple of choices, and like everything else, money and time is an issue. The most important advice I can offer you is this, keep in mind this is a very emotional time for you so be sure you can control yourself when situations arises until all the information available has been exposed.  If you “let on” to your mate that you’re suspicious your mate may cool things off for a while and make it harder to find the truth. For all intents purposes you must remain “clueless”. Only then will your mate feel comfortable enough to continue the activity and eventually make a mistake. I can not tell you how many of my customer blew an investigation because their emotions took over.

• You can perform your own investigation.  Purchasing hidden cameras, recording devices and a GPS and strategically placing them could expose suspicious activity. A good way to see whats going on is to get a look at your mates cell phone bill. In most cases it will be all you need since there will be dozens of calls and text messages to the same number. If you are a spouse and your name is on the bill you can order copies of the bills since a cheating spouse will hide or destroy the originals. Placing a GPS on a vehicle registered to you is legal and a good way of tracking the whereabouts of your spouse. However placing a GPS on a vehicle NOT registered to you is illegal. If this is not an option you may decide to follow your mate yourself. This is inadvisable. You could get caught which may be dangerous and it will make it impossible for a PI to do surveillance in the future. If you will need evidence for future court proceedings hiring an investigator is your best option.

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• Hiring a private investigator is the fastest and most thorough way of discovering the truth. A private investigator has many tools at his disposal. Covert cameras, audio recorders, GPS’s, experience in covert surveillance and a steady hand for clear video evidence. They also have experience and an intuition of whats going on. Things you may never think of. These things are very important to discovered the truth especially if you are married and children are involved. Eventually agreements of alimony and child custody will need to be made therefore court hearings may be required. Your private investigators needs to have experience in presenting evidence in court.  Your private investigator will require an upfront retainer and as he conducts his surveillance the hourly rate will be deducted from the retainer. A good investigator will accumulate as much information from you as possible to lower the cost. This information includes schedules, addresses of work, friends and family, passwords when available, list of vehicles, license plate numbers, etc. The more information available to the investigator will lessen the cost of the client.

Regardless of the choice you make, doing nothing is not an option. It will drive you crazy.

Check out all the resources we have gathered for you. If you decide to hire an investigator please give us a call at (252)885-2003 and we can talk on the phone. Consultations are always free.